Ignorance isn't bliss, it's tiring.

Isn't that how the old adage goes? It's bliss? People who don't know any better are happier? Who knows? Perhaps it's true for some people. But those same blissfully ignorant people tire me sometimes. They say completely idiotic things, perhaps to be witty, but they come across as jerks or just plain stupid.
Take, for example, the guy at the next table last night. For awhile after they were seated, I paid them no mind, because I was incredibly happy with who I was with. But conversation lulled at some point, which usually results in comfortable silence for us or maybe a pondering-pose moment. And that is when I heard this guy.
He was young, so I'll chalk his ignorance and cockiness up to that. But I'd like to complain a little bit about it while I can, because sometimes even the Dalai Lama can't put up with everything!!! Well...maybe he can, but I'm far from being that good! :)
So anyway, our pondering poses were disrupted by this guy at first just talking. And talking. And talking. To me, it was about nothing, other than to show off that he can use big words. Good for you! Do you want a cookie??? Fine. He doesn't want a cookie... Eventually, his big words start to get boring, so he changes tactics. Out of nowhere that I could follow, he starts up about this trip to Virginia. I mean, he didn't even take a breath between talking about some crazy structure that was against the point of the "art" to...oh wait, I just realized the connection. In his mind, ridiculousness was the connection.
So he's going on and on about some structure somewhere that's about a boat, but it's this huge building that's massive and would never float and blah blah blah. Again, I didn't really care too much. I'm not an eavesdropper, by the way...but it's difficult to ignore loud, obnoxious voices. (So true, in so many ways...) Anyway, so he switches gears, or so I thought, to this "ludicrous mega-church that he equated to Disneyland. Perhaps not everyone knows what I am referring to, but enough of you do.
If you take a gander down to Washington, DC on I-495, there's a curve and a hill, and then this magnificent white building appears before you. If you don't know what it is, fine. I can understand that it could look to an ignorant person a little like Disneyland. But stop that there. I have known more people besides this guy that took pictures because of it. But rather than make fun of it, or talk about its ridiculousness, why don't you actually figure out WHAT it is??? He called it a mega-church that was ridiculous in its whiteness with a gold statue on top. That's why my ears really perked up and my temper started to flare. Granted, I'm not faithful in the religion I grew up in. I'm not even very religious, though I am spiritual. But I think that every religion deserves respect for what it believes, even if it's not understood or even agreed with, because at least they HAVE beliefs. I do think I'm a pretty patient person (I know I've said this before), but I also have a temper. Mess with me or someone that I love, and I WILL put my dukes up (along with the bristles on my back). So next time you want to talk about a Mormon Temple, you do your homework about it. I don't go, but I certainly don't talk down about it, and I really don't tolerate other people disrespecting it. Of all the people who are getting in line to disrespect the religion, the people who do NOT get tickets are the ones that say whatever little thing comes to their mind, like a human gumball machine. It's not a fantastic freak-show, nor a magnificently-themed-attraction. It is an incredibly religious building that just so happens to be one of the most beautiful Mormon temples (in my mind). So many people disrespect things that they know nothing about, and that really must stop.
He was lucky we were in a semi-fancy restaurant or I would have called him out on his ignorance right there. (Yes, me...Ms. Usually-Mellow-Rarely-Confrontational Me.) But, Mr. Smarty-Pants-Fancy-Talker just showed how smart he actually was, so he didn't need a whole lot of public confrontation. No, instead I loudly commented that he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about and that he should stop talking about it... And thankfully he DID shut up for a little while. I'm pretty sure the silence was because the entire table went to whispers about me, because of the glares I got when we left, but I don't care. I've got killer-stares I can dish out too.
Maybe that seed I planted will stick. I hope so. But if not, people...please stick up for your beliefs and more importantly, for the people you love. Encourage respect and search for knowledge. If you don't, who will? Opinions are great to have, but senseless chatter just to get a laugh is just plain rude.


And so, because I detracted from the fun part of the blog for a few posts, I'm warning you I'm going to get back into it, full-force. To get away from all of the idiots, you really do need to just get away completely. Perhaps if we take a ride on our own personal spaceflights we can accomplish the getaway from idiocy. See you all there! (After we win the Powerball, of course!)

Bad teeth? Or just a bad dentist?

By a show of hands, who hates going to the dentist? Up until a few years ago, I mostly just hated the dentist because I was so nervous they were going to tell me I had a cavity. I never had a cavity until about three years ago. Granted...before that, I went six years without seeing a dentist because I didn't have the insurance. Once I got my big-girl job, I still didn't have insurance, but at least I could pay for the visit. So I go. And boy, did my hatred for the dentist grow exponentially. This time, I also realized I was not a fan of dental hygienists. Usually they are so nice and gentle, and make the dentist visits less painful. Not this one. Maybe she was mad at me because I had six years' worth of tooth gunk that she had to clean. That's what I thought, because she KILLED my gums. I was so sore for days. But I had her again when I went six months later, and guess what. She still hacked at my mouth. I cringed over the next two years every time I saw her coming towards me in the waiting room. But I digress...
So, this visit after six years of no dentist was catastrophic for me. My mouth got shredded by the hygienist, I had to fork over hundreds of dollars for a complete set of x-rays, AND I was told that I had six cavities. What, WHAT??? That's right...I think I did a quadruple-take. I mean...the only tooth pain I had going in was from my wisdom teeth. I was essentially teething, and needed them taken out. But then the dentist informs me that I also need to have six cavities filled. No, I wasn't happy, but I trusted that she knew what she was doing, and that she had my best interests at heart, since she knew I didn't have insurance, and very minimal means to pay for much more than a visit. Plus, didn't she know I have this HUGE needle-phobia??? I mean, seriously. The only thing worse than having a needle in my mouth is the fact that I don't like nitrous oxide, so I am completely aware that there's a needle in my mouth!
I had to have the cavities filled in intervals, because they were in three quadrants of my mouth. So she did a quadrant at a time. The first two quadrants went as smoothly as can be expected. The third quadrant had three cavities, so I was in there for a good amount of time. That was three years ago, and I still have tooth pain from it. Something went wrong somewhere and she could never figure out what it was.
A few months ago, my jaw popped. It was SO painful that I was told I should see a dentist. Now that I have insurance, I just had to use someone in the network. So I went to one that comes highly recommended. He said there was nothing permanently damaged from the jaw pop, and eventually it'll feel better. I have since gone to him for a cleaning and a complete set of x-rays again. Guess what! They came back totally clean! And guess what the crazy kicker of the story is! The last time I had gone to the other dentist, she had told me that I had another cavity and it needed to be filled. I never did get it filled before I got insurance, and once I did get insurance, I went to this guy.
So...what exactly happened to my cavity??? I didn't realize they could disappear! Oh wait. It's because they don't. I was swindled. I didn't have insurance. I wasn't going to question the x-ray or the cavity. I didn't know any better, because I don't know what I'm looking at anyway. It makes me sick to think that I could have had perfectly healthy teeth manhandled, that I paid all that money out of pocket, AND I had needles in my mouth all those times!
But mostly, I just want to warn all of you to be extra careful. If you don't have insurance, please take extra caution because you could have the wool pulled over your eyes. Or maybe just the wrong teeth pulled. (P.S. This same dentist apparently pulled TWO wrong teeth from my sister's mouth...had I known that, I definitely wouldn't have gone to her!!!)

Fish Allergies and Finding Nemo

I have been told I'm allergic to life. I don't think so...life usually seems to treat me pretty well. But for as long as I can remember, there have been three things that I am definitely allergic to. Melons, nuts, and fish. I don't eat them. Each of them make me swell, but they each do it in different ways. Melons make my lips and tongue tingle. This must be a fruit thing, because other fruits I'm mildly allergic to, like bananas and tomatoes, do the same thing. I once had a watermelon fight with my mom, and we both ended up with welts wherever we actually hit each other. I definitely won though!!! And that's all that mattered then... ;-)
Nuts make my mouth feel fuzzy. It's a weird thing to describe, because it's not that tingly feeling, just a swelling feeling. And for all of you out there that don't know this, peanuts are NOT nuts. They are legumes...and thankfully I AM able to eat peanuts. :)
But fish? That's another story. It doesn't really affect my mouth or my lips. It goes straight for the throat. So I've tried to avoid fish and other seafood the most, though they did try to kill me in China a time or two...
When I was little, my mom used to feed us fishsticks, and I had no problem with them. Of course, I figured it had to be because I'd douse them with mayonnaise. (Did I mention the dilution trick I use with bananas? I drink water after I eat a banana, and I don't have a reaction. I tell myself it's because it's washing down whatever I'm allergic to. Who knows if that's actually true or not...but it works!) Anyway, she also did feed us flounder more than once when I was a kid. I don't think it was often thankfully, because if I remember correctly, I didn't really care for it. But I also don't remember ever reacting to it.
So here's where things get interesting. She also made us tuna sandwiches all the time. That was fine...she'd put a lot of mayonnaise in it (dilution tactic at its best!) and occasionally sweet pickle pieces of joy. Those little bursts of flavor were always welcome. Up until about three or four years ago, I would still eat as much as a can of tuna at a time, either with bread or crackers or whatever I could find. I'd dilute it with mayonnaise and voila! Fishy goodness! Well...all good things must come to an end, right? One day I got my hands on a can of albacore. I didn't know any differently, so I did as I usually did. That was the scariest allergic reaction I have ever had. My throat threatened to close completely, but thankfully it did not. I even narrowly escaped a trip to the ER...mostly because I was too stubborn to think I actually NEEDED to go to the ER. (I HATE doctors...I think I get that from my dad. It's definitely genetic.) ;-)
Since that bad experience, I haven't touched tuna. Of course, as is customary for me, I had to look up why albacore reacted so differently from regular tuna. What I came up with is that it's more mercurial. Well, tuna in general is full of metals...they are big fish. But apparently, albacore has even more.
After much more research, stopping just short of going to the allergist like I know I SHOULD do, we have discovered something amazing! I'm not necessarily allergic to fish. It's whatever metals, or whatever attributes, these tuna have. I can eat salmon! This fact has made me so happy that we've been eating a lot of salmon lately. Sorry babe! Jillian Michaels says they are really good for you though...so I'll continue to eat them. Because I can!
Again, my inquiring mind wants to know WHY I can eat salmon but not tuna, and once I figure out the big difference, I then want to find out what else I SHOULD be able to eat. Orange roughy? BAD! Though not as bad as albacore... And trout should be good.
The moral of this story? We have narrowed it to this: the top of the fishy food chain is probably where I need to stay away from. Any fish that eats other fish would be bad, because their metal levels go up. Bottom feeders are also probably bad, but we don't know for sure. So for now, I'm going to continue to stay away from crabs, lobster and shrimp. Caviar should be good...but they still really creep me out, so it'll take a while. :) Sharks? I will stay away from them for multiple reasons!
Then my head really started going wild. I thought, hmmm....what about those deep-sea fish from Finding Nemo??? Not like they'd be on anyone's menu, but if they were, should I stay away from them? I have to admit, I actually got distracted from that question. I still don't know...I'm not sure if they said.
These anglerfish are some FREAKY fish!!! We knew they were pretty ugly, in a very fascinating way, just because of how they were portrayed in that movie. But, I guess in the fashion of making things kid-friendly, they certainly prettied up this fish. If you go to the National Geographic link: animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/anglerfish/, you can see that it is not only a really ugly fish...it's not your normal fish. First of all, I have to applaud the females in this species...they are definitely awesome! THEY are the ones with the dorsal spine that has that little protrusion that draws the fish to them. Want to know what's even freakier? The males are smaller than the females and the males don't "go fishing"...they just attach themselves to the much-bigger females and are actually parasitic in nature! They don't do anything for themselves...they just feed off of the female! And to make things even worse? A female could have SEVERAL of these males that latch on to her body, and over time, they actually fuse to her! Isn't that just the most bizarre, yet incredible, thing you've heard today? If you have something even more bizarre, please share. I'm definitely in the mood to hear whacky things that are part of this world!

Do you know who your friends are?

Perhaps you should ask yourself this question more often, because it could save you a lot of heartache.
In the past year or so, the realization that the people you call friends may not actually be friends came crashing down on me. No. It sucker-punched me, knocked me to the floor, and then kicked me. It is NOT a nice realization, but it is definitely a lesson that needed to be learned. I am stubborn, ask anyone who knows me. I am patient...again, ask anyone who knows me. I didn't think I was gullible, though I do always try to see the best in everyone. And perhaps I do that to a fault.
A friend, defined by me, is someone you hang out with, and quite possibly have a great time with.
A GOOD friend, again defined by me, is a friend that you will also allow yourself to be more vulnerable with.
I have known many people who I have a good time with. But I didn't trust them from the start with my inner-most feelings, or even my middle-most feelings, so they were my hang-out buddies. But those people that you can have deep, more serious conversations with? Those people who see you all the other times you aren't smiling? They're supposed to be what I call "good friends". You would do anything for them. Be the shoulder they cry on, the ear they talk to, and the person that they have a great time with. And they are the people that know more about what you're feeling, what you're afraid of, and what your life plans are.
So it was extremely difficult for me to grasp the idea that some people can so easily throw that away. I've seen so many people disappear, because they heard the loud voice that cried. They didn't try to understand what REALLY happened. They were too lazy to try to find the truth in the middle of the two sides (though I'd have to say, I try to be completely and painfully honest). It wasn't until I had a dream a few weeks ago that just was so vivid, and so bizarre. I HAD to look it up, because it HAD to mean something. The gist of it was that I needed to let go of the past. No, it wasn't telling me to let go of an ex, because believe me, I let that go once she tried to hurt me the last time. It was telling me to let go of the "friends". I was being too stubborn to let them go. My stubbornness was hurting me. New friends and new love tried to convince me of this, but only a strange, sad dream got me listening.
So I've moved on. I've let go. I sleep well now, except for the heat. But the best part of this story? Since I've stopped hurting because of these lost, so-called friends, I've really noticed who my true-for-life friends are. The most recent discovery was just the other day. We got separated and lost touch a few years ago. And then we had dinner the other night, and to me, it felt like we picked up right where we left off, and then took off running. I had really missed her. I knew I missed hanging out with her before, but until that night, I didn't realize how much. She's good people. And when I look at all the people who HAVE stayed constant in my life, even if they live two time zones away, you see that they are all "good people". They have good hearts, even if life throws them curveballs sometimes...or all the time.
These are the people that you should try to surround yourself with. Good people = good friends. Everyone else can just be your buddy.