Do you know who your friends are?

Perhaps you should ask yourself this question more often, because it could save you a lot of heartache.
In the past year or so, the realization that the people you call friends may not actually be friends came crashing down on me. No. It sucker-punched me, knocked me to the floor, and then kicked me. It is NOT a nice realization, but it is definitely a lesson that needed to be learned. I am stubborn, ask anyone who knows me. I am patient...again, ask anyone who knows me. I didn't think I was gullible, though I do always try to see the best in everyone. And perhaps I do that to a fault.
A friend, defined by me, is someone you hang out with, and quite possibly have a great time with.
A GOOD friend, again defined by me, is a friend that you will also allow yourself to be more vulnerable with.
I have known many people who I have a good time with. But I didn't trust them from the start with my inner-most feelings, or even my middle-most feelings, so they were my hang-out buddies. But those people that you can have deep, more serious conversations with? Those people who see you all the other times you aren't smiling? They're supposed to be what I call "good friends". You would do anything for them. Be the shoulder they cry on, the ear they talk to, and the person that they have a great time with. And they are the people that know more about what you're feeling, what you're afraid of, and what your life plans are.
So it was extremely difficult for me to grasp the idea that some people can so easily throw that away. I've seen so many people disappear, because they heard the loud voice that cried. They didn't try to understand what REALLY happened. They were too lazy to try to find the truth in the middle of the two sides (though I'd have to say, I try to be completely and painfully honest). It wasn't until I had a dream a few weeks ago that just was so vivid, and so bizarre. I HAD to look it up, because it HAD to mean something. The gist of it was that I needed to let go of the past. No, it wasn't telling me to let go of an ex, because believe me, I let that go once she tried to hurt me the last time. It was telling me to let go of the "friends". I was being too stubborn to let them go. My stubbornness was hurting me. New friends and new love tried to convince me of this, but only a strange, sad dream got me listening.
So I've moved on. I've let go. I sleep well now, except for the heat. But the best part of this story? Since I've stopped hurting because of these lost, so-called friends, I've really noticed who my true-for-life friends are. The most recent discovery was just the other day. We got separated and lost touch a few years ago. And then we had dinner the other night, and to me, it felt like we picked up right where we left off, and then took off running. I had really missed her. I knew I missed hanging out with her before, but until that night, I didn't realize how much. She's good people. And when I look at all the people who HAVE stayed constant in my life, even if they live two time zones away, you see that they are all "good people". They have good hearts, even if life throws them curveballs sometimes...or all the time.
These are the people that you should try to surround yourself with. Good people = good friends. Everyone else can just be your buddy.