So here we are, 29 days after I was first instructed to restrict my diet and to take supplements. This was to “cleanse” my body and get my digestion back on track. This is what I spent four weeks telling myself, along with the idea that once the month was over, I’d get all those things I enjoyed back. For those of you that haven’t been graced by my complaints, I’ll give you all of the gory details.
I’ve spent the last few months between my primary care physician, the allergist, and a nutritionist. I’ve had allergy tests, I’ve had ultrasounds, and I’ve even had a CATscan. “What the heck happened to you?” you may ask. Well, nothing really…other than I’ve had minor sinus congestion for a couple of years and a new pain in the abdomen that I couldn’t self-diagnose. OK, so I decided to finally get that checked out and hopefully made better.
First stop: the primary physician. I come out of that appointment with many names in hand of people to see, and no real diagnosis for the pain. OK, fine.
Second stop: the allergist. Before I went to see him, I knew that I was allergic to tree nuts, melons, some fish, and ripe bananas. After a blood test (they took a LOT of blood!) which revealed nothing but possibilities of a peanut allergy, I became the itchy pincushion. They tested for about 40 things…I can’t remember the exact number now, it was so long ago, but believe me, it was A LOT! It turns out I am allergic to all seven trees they tested for, all three grasses, and both weeds (yes, apparently I AM allergic to Southeastern Pennsylvania). I’m also allergic to one of three molds/mildews, all tree nuts and apparently peanuts too. I’m also allergic to dust mites (go figure), feathers, and the saddest of all, animals. I am allergic to my cats!!! Who would have thought that it was possible that my never-ending congestion was due to the cats??? I mean…when you look at the timeline, it makes total sense, but who’s keeping track of that anyway??? Once we made the bedroom “allergen-free” and the cats are 100% prohibited from entering, I have slept so much better. *sigh* I do miss when they’d come and snuggle…it was so cute in my mind.
The strange thing about the allergy test is this: apparently I’m not allergic to fish. So explain the reactions I have to some fish!!! Response? Stay away from fish. OK, thanks.
Is my abdominal pain associated with food allergies? We don’t know. I had an ultrasound done, with no real conclusion, so the next stop was the CATscan. Yay. I hope I NEVER have to do one of those again. The barium itself is reason for me to never get scanned again. And though I almost hoped there was something wrong, since I had to go through torture just to be scanned, there was not. OK, so I am actually glad there is nothing wrong.
So what IS this pain? I decided I’d call it my tumor (because it was clearly not, since the ultrasound and CATscan were clean), but that was rejected as a terrible joke, so now I call it my evil twin.
Last stop on the Pain Investigation Express? Nutritionist. He did some testing and do you want to know what his diagnosis was? I had completely messed up my digestion, and all of my organs were out of whack. Solution? No wheat, soy, milk, sugar, or corn for a month. Oh, and take a shopping-bag full of these supplements while you are at it. The diet in itself is not so bad, believe it or not. Aside from the fact that I cannot eat much of what I thoroughly enjoy, I found many acceptable substitutes. Add in the crazy formula of food combining, and that’s where things get interesting. Proteins and starches should NEVER be eaten together in a meal, and fruit should ALWAYS be eaten alone. That’s more difficult to remember…there’s so many rules! But, even with the incredibly restrictive diet and the crazy rules, the worst thing for me is the supplements. Most people who know me know that I cannot swallow a pill whole, unless it’s a very tiny pill. I have a tiny throat! It’s a family thing...I sometimes even choke on air. Not really...but I do have a totally true and funny story of choking on these supplements, which I’ll save telling for another day. So I do as you do with children…pour the contents of the pill into some applesauce and down the hatch it goes! Choo choo!!! (It reminds me of the days with baby food and airplanes zooming, trains choo-chooing, and food sometimes actually being swallowed.)
I was SO good. I tried to stick by the diet and the rules, and I took all of my supplements (except the night or two when I truly did forget). I was so sure, since I was so good, I was going to be FREE! I saw the nutritionist again last night for my follow-up. Not only am I still stuck on this diet, I still have to take most of the supplements! Luckily though, I don’t have to take any more for the Spleen. They were one of the nastiest pills he gave me. Liver’s next on the nasty list…but I wasn’t so lucky to lose both of the offensive pills. So after a night of being bad, because we had in our minds when we went in to see him that we were going to have more dietary freedom when we came out, we are back on the good-girl train.
*Note to everyone out there: KFC after a month of cleansing is a VERY bad idea indeed!!! I just hope this doesn’t mean I’ve tacked on another month at the end of this one.
I’ve decided to try to document this month’s progress with the diet. Perhaps it’s just my very sneaky way of sharing my misery. ;-) I like to think of it as enlightening others to yet another way of life, one of which I’m just beginning to learn the ways of.
And since I can only stare longingly at the foods I used to enjoy, my Ideal Island Getaway for today is to Naples, Italy. It is the place where I have never had an empty plate, and though the food was different at times from anything I’ve ever known, it was always super-scrumptious. As the possibility of losing more weight from this diet lingers, the visions of Grandma’s cooking in Naples puts those virtual pounds back on. Reach back into your past. Do you remember Grandma’s cooking? Was it like none other? If you don’t have any savory memories, I will share my Italian grandmother-in-law with you, and we can all escape to Naples together.
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